#25 The Lonely Song

 My dear readers told me that my writings make them feel lonely and advised me to write something on love and romance.’ Love stories are what making writers to earn fame and money,’ said one of my friends. ‘Change your style. You look like a depress writer,’ opined another friend. The only compliment I got from a lovely girl a few days ago: ‘I know you are not professional, but your writing is good. I love reading your stories.’

            Truly, I do not know what makes my readers happy or lonely. I write what I experienced and learnt from my life. My experiences helped me to write a book too. A lot of people are confused that how can I debut as a Self-help writer in India. There is no market for a Self-help writer. But I am happier being a writer who doesn’t know anything, and writing his autobiography in small pieces. I know, it is my weakness. But I can’t help. 

            Whenever I sit for writing, two things come before me: the longings for dreams and hopes, and the memories of beautiful girls. I write about them, sometimes truth and sometimes imaginary. Now, I think I’ve left all the delightful girls and my youth in search of something better. Where boys are busy in making love with their girls, I am talking with trees and leaves. When I get tired talking with them, I remain silent. I forbid my mind thinking anything and feel the sweetness of breeze. The cool winds coming from a large tree always tries to tell me something. I don’t know further, but I could say there is something around us which is watching our every deed.

I don’t enjoy watching movies and television so I spend my day either in wandering the streets around my house or sleeping with my old books in my small room. I love collecting books, but I don’t feel like reading them— a big weakness as a writer. I remember the time when I used to read two or three books a week. It was hard work. And I hate hard work.

            I recall somewhere reading, ‘Solitude is bliss.’ But no one ever told that sometimes solitude becomes loneliness. When loneliness assails me, I try my best to keep myself busy. Sometimes I play old songs on my mouth organ and sometimes I just lie down and stare at the rotating fan. Once, I got out of my room and took a local train, but the crowd streaming in and out on every station annoyed me and I never thought about travelling again.

Email: grovernakul142@gmail.com

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