#10 I still remember you – A letter I wrote two years ago.

I sit in a park, beneath a sky of pristine blueness and think of you. It is March, and the grass turning brown and yellow. Crushed, it still smells sweet. The afternoon sun beats on the oak leaves and turns them glittering silver. I try to see your hazel eyes, feeling its sensation. I am aware again of the texture of your skin, the coolness of your feet, and sharp tingle of your fingertips.

I know you are not thinking of me now, as you sit in your room, resting or laughing or trying to study of your examinations. There will be a lot of girls circling about you and perhaps you are not able to think of yourself. I do not know whether you remember the talks or not. But, I know once you had asked me about you. You know, you are still a child and yet you found it easy to quiet my impatient heart.

I can never forget the day we met each other. I still remember I was shabbily dressed in a concrete uniform with a mop of ruffled hair. We were walking aside the highway. We talked a little while and then a black car halted on the highway suddenly reversed. To save you, I grabbed your hand and pulled you towards me, but in embarrassment, you thrust my hand away. This hurt me a little because I was just protecting you. And if you know that then you must know that the same day we met again. You saw me with your surprise looking eyes. It was the eyes as though of puppy: sweet and small. I do not remember much of that day as I was struggling to cope your strides. You walk so fast and seriously, I hate it.

You told me about a senior boy who is your new friend. When I heard it, I was consumed by jealous- an emotion which I thought had grown out long ago. You may forget the walks on the narrow path round the lake, in early morning, but I will never forget the first ray of sunshine sloshing on you. I hate the sunshine for caressing your face. In fact, I hate everything, from the hairs that kisses your ears to the bangles that clutches your hands whole day and night.
You remember the day when you were showing me videos on your mobile. I was genuinely not interested because I was mesmerized by your puppy face. Gently, I wanted to kiss your eyes and forehead, and wanted to whisper in your ears: Beautiful…

You chastised me which I have never expected. I decided to ignore you, but every time I think about of hating you something again takes me on you. I am a foolish and yet a lover again.

It is the writings and books of Ruskin Bond that helped me to complete this letter, two years ago. Today, after reading this letter a couplet came in my mind which I had written somewhere in my diary: 

Beetey huye dinon ki yaadon mein jab uska khayal niklaa

Tab abr-e-mausam mein aftaab niklaa

(When memories of her rose from the past times of my life, years later.

Then sun rose from the cloud laden weather)    

#9 Love Letters

As a sincere student of subject self-help and spirituality, I believe in serving people and spreading glad tidings of God all around, but there are some people who envy your each step, so it is worthless to spare your priceless time to serve them. Leave those personalities. They can affect your blood pressure. There are some people who talk about others in their absence, leave them also because they are the same people who talk about you in your absence. But, do not forget the people who care for you and helped you at some moment in your life. Write love letters for them.

                I still remember the words my father said to me once, ‘Nakul, everyone will find happiness around you if you have money and you are willing to spend on them.’ He was obviously right. And I think time is money, so I believe in spending time on people. It is a funny thing about us that we waste so much time in impressing those who do not care for us. And eventually, we lose those who are near to us.  

                For a rude person like me, who is habitual of using dozens of curses to complete one sentence, it looks funny to speak love words for others. For me, writing is the best way to express myself without any interruptions. I believe writing is a brilliant idea to make people know what you think about them. It gives wings to the emotions so that our words can reach to the sub-conscious mind of others and settle their till last breath. ‘Yaaden yaad aati h, baaten bhul jati hai,’ a Hindi song I often sing when I miss my family and old friends.  

I behave stupid all the time; ask so many questions; and irritate all those who surround me.   I do all kind of non-sense only to contribute some happy moments in their life. People who are near to me know me well. They are the same people who make me write love letters. I spend two hours a week in writing love letters for my dear once. I think writing love letters and sparing a little time to call an old friend can make him feel how much important he/she is in your life. This month I’ve decided to write letters for my family and few friends. You know, it is just beautiful seeing your love in a wide-curvy smile with the moist eyes. Remember, no one is going to recall your good grades and good presentations on your death bed.

#8 Writing — A fucking and a pleasing profession

As a writer I believe there are no Saturdays and Sundays for writers. Writing is a solitary task. What I experience is that sometimes writing is frustrating. We have to read two books a week. We have to notice every shit happening around us. We have to shut the doors for our friends, family and love. Sometimes we spend the whole day staring at the blank white sheet and typing and doing backspace the same paragraph again and over again. We have to be real and transparent by undoing our pants and unbuttoning our shirts like a slut in a hope that readers may like us and pay us. It is very depressing for us to see the rejected manuscripts from publishers. It is miserable to see money flowing out in purchasing buckets of tea and coffee every day.  People say writers are rich. However, they are wrong. ‘You can earn more money than writers by running a gas station,’ said an Indian author, Khushwant Singh.

But whenever I look in my past, I found only a line which curves a smile on my face. The line says: ‘The greatest pleasure is in doing what people say you can’t do.’ What I come to know when you start working on yourself, people stop talking to you and start talking about you. Equally apt couplets of a poet Mohammad Iqbal comes in mind for those people:

Khuda tujhey kisee toofan sey aashnaa kar dey

Ki tere behr kee maujon mein iztiraab nahen

‘May God grant you the experience of a storm:

The waves of your life’s ocean are too calm.’

Sometimes a thought to quit writing comes in my mind, but then when I think deeply, something inside me asks, what else I can do other than writing? And then, like every time, a question appears in front of me: ‘What is the use of life?’ No use. Human beings born, grow up, get placements, pay their bills and die. The important thing is to live the path we are going through, to become better, to serve others and to have dreams. Robin Sharma often uses a Sanskrit saying in his books which left a deep impression on my soul. He says, ‘When you were born, you cried and the world rejoice. Now, it’s a time to live in such a way when you die, the world cries and you rejoice.’ That is also a reason why I write self-help articles.

Though sometimes writing is a frustrating job for me, but now it’s a part of my soul. It is my girlfriend who does nothing other than wasting my time without paying me back but gives solace and heals my wounds. I’m glad that I don’t waste my time in gossiping and sleeping. I’m doing better than myself with every passing day. In fact, after reading over hundred books I feel like ocean of knowledge. I’m creative and do work out of my comfort zone while sitting comfortably on the chair and all in all, I don’t give damn what people think about me. A book and a chair all I need to spend my life. Fame and money has a fleeting hold so it is better to invest in mind. Few lines I wrote for the one who bestowed me a gift:

Ae Khuda! Gar na dee hoti tune mjhe yeh syahi

Na mein thjhe jaanta hota na hota tera aalam

Na mein rota or na hi pakdi hoti tere naam ki kalam

#7 Drugs Mind Meditation Miracles

#10 Drugs Mind Meditation Miracles

Our mind is a tool to unlock the infinite secrets of this universe, if used in a high state. High state means when it gets the ability to concentrate on one subject for longer period of time and knows how to be in present. Human beings get 60000 thoughts every day. To work out the information from one thought is difficult. To avoid all the 59999 thoughts and to hold a grip on one subject for a long period of time is hard. If we see in past, we would find that singers, musicians, yogis, writers, scientists… had discovered unbelievable miracles in themselves. The discoveries they had done is amazing; the songs and dance they had performed were unique. The only thing helped them to unfold their big fortunes and to unleash their creativity was their mind. Mind is a brilliant instrument. There are numerous ways to get the big fortunes in life such as asking from God, hard work, sincerity, patience and so on. Among the above ways, getting high state of mind is the another path to become creative and complete tasks in short period of time. This blog will give you little information about unfolding the creativity through drugs and meditation.

            When we get new and unique ideas? We get ideas when our mind works slowly and refrain itself from all the distraction and fears. When we live in present and forget about our future and past our mind touches the infinite intelligence of the universe. I’ve listened people saying that a man consume alcohol because he wants to escape from his present and his current circumstances. However, it is not true. People takes drugs not to escape from the present but to live in present and to forget the illusionary fears of future and regrets of past. Drugs slowdown the number of thoughts per minute and stop the thoughts playing with emotions. One of my friends told me about the feeling on getting high on a famous drug, LSD. According to him the trip on LSD is so much effective that he can count the particles of the smoke puffed out from his cigarette. Most of the artists use this fact to increase their productivity. Albert Einstein, Bob Marley, Ghalib and Leonardo da Vinci are the few famous examples who had shown miracles of the universe to us by getting high on drugs.

            But, when I further moved in the subject of creativity, I found some astonishing facts about mind. What I come to know is that our sub-conscious mind is powerful. If we do mastery on our sub-conscious mind, we can even predict the future also. The infinite knowledge of the universe is already is in our mind. What we need is to separate our-self from our mind which drugs can never do. Getting high on drugs or alcohol can take you to heaven for short period of time but when its effect gets reduced you would again find yourself in the web of your daily life problems. The other way to build up your mind to make it more productive is meditation and positive messages. By doing meditation or reading positive thoughts every day one can achieve the level of greatness. Meditation means oneness with the inner soul. The effect of meditation is for forever. There are yogis in this world who have touched the infinite intelligence and serving human beings. ‘After ingesting ten pills of LSD, I came to conclusion that meditation is higher than these pills,’ a statement of a yogi I read in the book ‘Be here now’ by Baba Raamdas. Similarly, by reading positive messages everyday one can unfold his big fortune. Creative thoughts begin coming when you free yourself with all the worries and start believing in your abilities. Holy Bible, Holy Quran and Shri Guru Granth Sahib are the best books what I come across for imbuing my subconscious mind with faith and hope.

I want to end up this article here as there is no limit to write on human mind. I know the content of the article is not written in detail, but I believe that it has poured some knowledge in your subconscious mind. I’ve experienced tremendous change in my life after reading the following the books. I hope these books would enlighten you also.

1.      Power of subconscious mind by Joseph Murphy

2.      Think and Grow rich by Napoleon Hill

3.      Meditation by Swami Vivekananda

4.      Be here now by Ram Dass

5.      Mind is your business by Sadhguru

6.      Thinking fast and slow by Daniel Kahneman